im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
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