We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
