she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
