after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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