I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
