Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
