Non-Jews are for practice
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Walk of Shame today included voting.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
