Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
