Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
