So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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