I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
