Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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