his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
