I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
