It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
