I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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