Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
