Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
