My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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