My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
