I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
