Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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