Plan B is the new Plan A
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize