So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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