Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
