i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
