So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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