Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
