my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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