I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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