Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You left your phone here
Wait...
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