I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
