You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
what day is it and did you see me today?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
