Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
