I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Is it because I queefed?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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