next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm bleeding and have questions
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
