well I can't set my house on fire every night
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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