Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
