We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
