playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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