she was so not down for the gang bang
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
