So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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