You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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