Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
