I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
