Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
