Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
