She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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