I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize