Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
