i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
