First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
