Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
