GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
