I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
