..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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