just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i need some magic done to my vagina
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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