Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
