she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
