he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
