problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
