I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
