3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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