he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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